Talking to a mate who is stressed about finances

Spot The Signs

Money troubles can be difficult to talk about, so your friend might not feel comfortable bringing it up. But there are signs you can look for that might indicate financial stress.

Frequently talking about how expensive things are: They might not say outright, ‘I’m struggling with money’, but if they are commenting frequently on the expense of groceries, bills, everyday items, events and/or their income it might be a sign they’re having money worries.

Hesitant to socialise: They love hanging out but lately they’ve been declining or not showing up to social events. They could be too scared to tell you why they can’t come, so avoiding events might be their way of managing money.

Awkward or argumentative when money is mentioned: Maybe they’re silent when you and your friends are talking about money/finances, or defensive if you ask them directly how they afford things.

Low mood: Ongoing financial stress might cause a sudden and sustained change in mood, such as feeling down, negative talk or low energy.

Overusing credit: Do they often use credit cards or other buy-now-pay-later mechanisms? It doesn’t always mean they’re having trouble with money, but it might be helpful to check in.

Obsessing about making more money: Are they always talking about ways that they could make more money? Are they taking on too much paid work that leaves them exhausted and with time for nothing else?

Housing stress: They are currently not in stable housing or seem to be stressed about the costs or conditions of their living situation. Alternatively, they may seem uncomfortable even discussing the topic.

What To Say & Do

It can be hard to know what to say or how to support when a friend is worried about money. We’ve put together some tips to help you!

Check in: If you notice signs your friend isn’t OK, simply asking how they’re doing and starting a conversation is a great first step. You can follow our four steps to having an R U OK? conversation. 

Listen: If they’re ready to talk about it, let them share and listen carefully. It might be tempting to offer money or pay for them (if you’re able to) to ‘fix’ the problem. But this isn’t the solution. They will get a lot more out of having you listen to them and talking through solutions together.

Suggest budget friendly hangouts: Socialising every weekend can get expensive, but it doesn’t have to be! Try free activities like; heading to the beach, going for a walk, local free events, movie night in, BBQ in a mate’s backyard, and the list goes on.

Share resources: There are loads of cool articles, apps and videos out there to help set budgets, track spending and manage money. Your friend might not know they exist, so sharing these tools can help them feel in control of their finances. Check out ‘helpful resources’ below.

Encourage them to seek professional help: Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers or get to the bottom of their money stress. Let them know that you want to support them, but you think it might be helpful for them to chat to a professional (such as a free psychologist through school/uni, a financial counsellor or a helpline) to get advice and strategies on how to manage their challenges.